balance, baby!

I’m right in the middle of a very busy period work wise. My workaholic drive tends to push in through October and goes on full-throttle up to February. It’s because I have most projects and assignments in these months (graphic design); meaning I have nearly 2  jobs at the same time to focus on. In the meantime I’m redoing my bathroom.. Well I’m not, the builders are doing most of it. You all know that means working and living in a disaster zone: scattered tools, boxes, dust, wood, tiles, plaster, plastic sheets, a paranoid cat and my own mess (cant be bothered to clean cause it’ll be a dusty dump the next day I come home anyway) scattered all around the house. Doesn’t make it easier to focus.

I guess ‘Miss Balance’ didn’t really plan this out well. Like last year, same period,  when I had my kitchen totally redone (guess ‘Miss Balance’ doesn’t always learn from her mistakes either ; ) ).

All this means stress. While I always  try to cut out stress and stay balanced, now I’ve actually been stressing to keep balanced. It means I go to bed earlier, I’m less social (meaning less parties, but might be a bit snappy too), I DON’T CUT ON GYM-TIME (exercise helps dealing with stress) and I’m focusing on priorities even more. Focusing is hard when there’s stress.. Not being focused causes stress. Damned those vicious circles! *no worries, I’m typing this with a smile*

Ah, see?  -I lost my focus here now too. My point here is that I decided to spend less time blogging. And I’ve noticed the timing couldn’t have been better, actually…  after weeks of writing all my first posts this is a good moment to take a small step back and figure out what I truly want to say and share; time for a recap.

See, I just stepped into this world wide writing-affair being half-clueless of what I wanted to share in the first place. I just know what I like doing and what interests me and apparently the way I balance out work, nutrition, gym-time, rest and social fun inspires people around me. It’s the people I inspire, that asked me and/or inspired me to write my blog.

And I finally started. Here. And I’m loving it! How cool to be writing while learning (and vice versa)!

But there are some ‘struggles’:

1) Like a lot of things in life, this is an adventure; you just jump in and learn while you’re at it. I underestimated the effect of blogging. It’s kind of weird to realize people you’ve never met are actually reading what you write. On the one hand it gives a kick, it’s fun and motivating (way more then I expected), on the other hand it makes me feel a bit insecure sometimes (“am i making sense to people? is my English writing okay? Will anyone care about this topic?” etc) . It nearly makes you want to write and share stuff with the sole purpose of it to be ‘Liked’, while it’s not necessarily something you truly care about -Ah, that’s an important thing to think about; the choice between writing a blog to get popular and have more followers? Or stay true to yourself and keep writing whatever you want to write about and/or feel is important, no matter how many ‘likes’ or ‘followers’? -I decided to go for the last. Best case scenario is people actually liking it all the same (even if my English isn’t totally correct, lol).

2) FOCUS. This ‘struggle’ is actually about me being very passionate about writing and sharing: Not really a bad thing. There’s just SO much I’d like to write about. I have a file stacked with topics; everything between being informative to just plain venting/nagging. I have 10 drafts in my post-list. And every time I write I come up with at least 2 new things I also want to write about. That’s good and motivating, but it started to ‘stress me out’ a bit too. Worrying about ‘when to post what’? And wanting to set dead-lines for myself to actually finish a piece (takes a bit more time for me, with Dutch being my first language). And worrying if readers wont get ‘lost’ (I’m a teacher. I know how important it is to stay ‘on topic’ and be clear about what you want to say).  I figured this ‘struggle’ out now too: My blog is not my work. I shouldn’t worry about it. It should be fun. NOT stressful. Telling myself:  “Practice what you preach, Jess!”

3) I’ve been struggling with the ‘fitness’ theme on my blog. I had random  fitness blogs  in mind when I started, but  now I truly wonder how it would benefit others to read about my workouts. I have friends asking me about it and wanting to train with me. But that’s different to writing about it on a blog. It seems it would mean I’d have to publish pics of my own ‘anatomical development’ while training in my undies, and personally, I’m not really into that kind of thing (half-joking but I’m sure a lot of you know exactly what I mean). I DO have strong opinions considering  all kinds of aspects within the fitness world (concerning undies, health, results and practicality but also psychological and social –and hypocritical!- aspects). So I will keep posting about those things. Fitness is an important aspect of my life so it will remain an important topic for me to write about. But not in the ‘let me be your fitness-model motivator’ or the ‘here is my 5-day planner for you to get abs’ -way. That’s just not me.

Anyway, all this means I will be making some changes in my content and chapters over time. Also moving from random to more personal (like I am now), because I’m starting to feel more comfortable.  Still a bit ‘all over the place’ concerning topics.. but hey, that’s me : )

So, what’s the lesson here? a) plan well!!! b) -if you’re a blogger- your blog should be whatever you want it to be, it’s YOURS : ). c) don’t feel bad for stepping back sometimes, even with things you love doing. It gives you a better perspective of whats going on and helps you figure out what your next step or goal is : )  

In the meantime; the heaviest building work is done in my apartment, since this afternoon. I’m going to tidy and clean up my house NOW (actually been busy with it while writing this). And then it’s  ‘zen-time’; a clean house = a clear(er) mind. FINALLY! YAY!